Sad for January.
Yesterday, when I was listening to the priest, he talked about January and its relation to the Roman god Janus. Yeah, I know him. He’s the god for doors, time, windows, gates, endings and beginnings. And I also believe that he is claimed to be the god of Choices. January is a transition for a year. It’s not only the beginning but it’s also an end.
Not all ends are bad, I say. This year, 2012, I decide to be more organized. More self-controlling. Though I know what’s right or wrong, I never restrict myself from doing or not doing things which will result into a bad situation and I, again, will end up here ranting that I want to end my life.
We always say every December 31st or the 1st day of the year that we will start a new life. Nope, we can never start a new life. We can just fix and deal with what was broken and make something far better out of the scraps. We just have to move on and not to run away with all that’s left behind. We need to get through them and not over them.
This year, I’m really promising myself that I will aim to be an acad achiever. Last year was a hell for me at school. I failed too many subjects. No, I don’t ever think it was cool. Maybe, I could if I have such friends who failed many subjects but no. I feel so low whenever I see my friends who’s really cool because they got to pass their subjects even tho they party at times.
I really have to concentrate. My aim this year is to earn money, get a better physique, excel in academics, get my own room, fix things, rebuild friendships, buy my own things, be more independent, help my mom, and lovelife? Nah, not now. Maybe after I’ve done all of those. Love life is in the last spot of my priority list. It will just get in to you and you won’t notice it.
I’ve lost friends and loved ones. Washed some people and knew that they could never be clean no matter what. Made wrong decisions, but so what? I have plenty of years to live. Many opportunities to grab. It’s not as if I could suffer much in that one decision. Let go and let God!
Let’s do fight’em!
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